Funny, Hilarious, Awesome Birthday Quotes, Wishes & Sayings
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’
I looked all over for some classy messages, but sadly I turned up with nothing. I guess they know you too well.
I wanted to invite your friends this year, but than I realized they are all mine. Happy B-day anyway.
I hate to tell you this, but your wheelchair will be arrived tomorrow. Happy b-day from your friends and family.
I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
The most important rule for getting a birthday tattoo: if you want to show it to people, put it someplace where you won’t have to take off your pants.
Your birthday should be a national holiday. I’ll be the first to volunteer to take a day off work in your honor.
There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
I know the reason why you are scared of your birthday. Because people wish you with weird messages and present your scary cards.
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
It is not more surprising to be born twice than once; everything in nature is resurrection.
Close your eyes, make a wish, and if you wait long enough, you’ll get exactly what you want: all the kids out of the house.
Can you remember our those old days? Those memories are still fresh in my mind. Thanks for being with me. Happy birthday.
Hope you’ll live as long as you wish to live. Have a wonderful day.
See how many candles on your cake. You’ll have to blow them out only by sniffing. Ha ha!
Some say the glass is half empty. Others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, so just drink whatever is in the glass.
May you live all the days of your life.
I was going to get you a good-looking guy fro your birthday, but unfortunately your neighbor won’t leave his wife.
More candles are on their way to join your cake. Hope you’ll be able to see them very soon.
If you’re wondering what to wear for your birthday, don’t forget that you can wear your birthday suit. Don’t forget to iron it though. It gets more wrinkled each year.
It would have been a holiday, if you were a great man in this country. But I’m so unlucky that you are not.
Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty- five for years.
Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
You’re not 40, you’re 18 . . . with 22 years of experience!
Your how old? Na, that can’t be right. You look too good!
You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by “for your age.”
Too many birthday means, you are getting closer to death. It’s scientifically proven, not my own words.
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Wishing you a birthday as fun as your original birthday, minus the terrifying, slimy birth experience.
You don’t look as old as your age.
To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
The room is getting hotter, please blow the candles before your room gets on fire.
So, you are still younger than the age you will be on the next birthday. Have a special celebration.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
It feels great when your loved ones wish you the ways you wanted to be wished for this special day. Enjoy!!
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
Hey, though it’s older, but yet it’s not better yet. Have a wonderful birthday.
You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
I picked out your coffin on the way here.
Don’t be tempted to reflect on your entire life each birthday. At your age, that would take a long time.
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!
I believe that man grows old like wine and women grows old like cheese. You know old wines are priceless.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you are old, especially if you can hear them say it without having to read lips.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
You know what? If you could be president today, I think I might switch my political affiliation to the birthday party.
Congratulations for your sweet smile. Though you don’t have all your teeth, but yet it’s sweet like always.
That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.
You know that you have passed your golden young days when the walking through the stairs becomes really hard. Moreover, you need to call it as an exercise too. Happy birthday.
Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
Some people try to hide their age by calling themselves mature or seniors, but I like being honest with old people.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
Here is a big birthday wish, a big present, a big hug and a big bash for a big hearted big brother. Happy birthday.
It’s always very nice to be young, but allows you get to older every year. Don’t worry, just enjoy.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is birthday.
One more year added now, so it’s better to remain over the ground rather than remaining under that. Wishing you a happy birthday.
With age, wisdom comes. That’s why I believe you are one of the wisest people.
You get older every year, but I don’t want to remember that. Just enjoy and don’t eat my portion of cake.
In the hallway? In the bathroom? On the kitchen table? In front of the chimney? At 40, it is truly remarkable to remember when you left your car keys. Happy Birthday!
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
If there’s something that you’re dreaming of then may it all come true, because you deserve it all…HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Happy Birthday! So how old are you now? (I‘m talking about the parts you were born with.)
Forget about the past, you can’t change it, Forget about the future, you can’t predict it, Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
You are gradually getting to the top of the hill. It’s better than being buried under it.
Many wishes for a happy birthday. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. But than again, we would need to narrow that down a bit.
You are someone whose birthday can easily be remembered without using any kind reminder options.
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
It’s cold out there, but I feel much warm for your candles. How hot your birthday is.
It’s time to stop counting the numbers of candles and start to think about the wishes you’ve got today.
When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
May your special day be filled with memories and flowers, friendship and happy hours.
Look at my delicious cake. I know you love cakes so let’s finish it together.
The number of candles is too much for your tiny cake. Make sure to arrange a bigger one next time.
People often believe that good things don’t last long. So, I guess you are a bad ass!
Best wishes on your 21st time having a 29th birthday. Keep enjoying your twenties.
Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
On your birthday lets try something we never tried before: Foreplay.
Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
Another year gone, how fast the numbers of candles on the cake are rising.
Next year, arrange a big cake so that the number of candles fit on the cake easily. Wishing you a happy birthday.
The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.
So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.
You always enjoy your birthday in some amazing ways, that’s why you should have one birthday every year.
Who ever decided to celebrate birthdays must have been young.
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
May today be the happiest day of your life, and may tomorrow be even happier than today!
If it’s your birthday, then you better dress for the occasion. Wear your birthday suit. Just kidding, your suit is probably too wrinkled.
Celebrate, or simply take the time for yourself. It is your day, so make the most of it in any way you like. Happy Birthday!
It’s proven that at the age of 41, you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
One more year has gone. Now you are more grown up. Make sure you do, it flawlessly.
Your birth date is very special because the world found was blessed with several special people. But I’m so sorry to tell you that you are not one of them.
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
I am wishing it was my birthday on your birthday. But since it’s your birthday, I’ll keep the presents and you keep the age.
I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
The first mark of aging appears when you start forgetting things. In your case, there are no such problems. You have transcended all the hassles.
A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.
Every time I ask you the true age, you smile and skip that topic. Today, I won’t give you any chance to escape.
I got you something we both would like. Too bad I ate on the way here.
We wanted to buy you something this year, but our budget wouldn’t allow it. So this card will have to do.
May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
Birthdays are a time of family and friends. Maybe you’ll get some next year.
Though it’s obvious to grow old, but it’s optional to grow up.
Wishes comes and go, but age sticks with you!
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
For your birthday, I have been thinking of something grandiose, superb, and impressing. But anyway, I do not cost anything to think, right?
The cake looks very little for those plenty of candles.
Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of ‘you’ to the world.
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
I got you a male stripper, but he can’t come over because he just won’t leave my house.
I know you want to turn back the clock. But with the amount of years on you I feel that is not a possibility.
Birthdays are a time of togetherness. Don’t worry you won’t find that here!
For your birthday I wanted to get you a special birthday trip to the only place I know you would really want to go. Unfortunately, they sold out of tickets for the time machine. I guess you’ll have to enjoy your presents in the present.
Of course I believe in miracles. I remembered your birthday, didn’t I?
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
It’s your birthday. So, get ready to check the notifications for next 24 hours.
Since your mother worked extremely hard on your birthday to birth you, shouldn’t she be the one getting the presents, cake, and party?
You must be feeling good, because you look fifty, though you are sixty today. Happy birthday.
There are good as well as bad people in the world. Only good people are lucky to find wishes from their well wishers. Happy birthday.
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.
If it wasn’t your birthday celebration, I would have been going to buy some drinks for tonight.
A toast to you! May you live to be as old as you look!
One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday from friends and family. What? You were expecting something else!
Someone once said that a true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. I remember both. Shouldn’t that count for something?
A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
At least you’re not as old as you will be next year! Happy Birthday!
It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
You’re how old? Just be glad your age is not calculated in “Dog years”. They would have put you down by now!
According to the government, your birthday is a very important day. It’s the day you become a citizen.
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.
Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.
Hey, no matter how old have you become today, just make sure that you don’t forget that where you kept the car keys. Good luck!
Another year, another new place that aches.
You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar . . . Yung No Mo
I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
If your candles cost more than your cake, then definitely you are getting older.
Your age should be in the Book od Records. And you thought you wouldn’t amount to anything.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
I haven’t brought any cake for you. Because I know you love this bottle of champagne more. Happy birthday.
I understand if you don’t want to tell me your true age. However, I have a math problem for you to help me with. If I’m __ years old now, how old will you be when I turn 100 years old?
People often say that time is the best healer though it’s also true that time is a dreadful beautician too. Have a wonderful day.
This is a time of sentiment and emotion. Screw that! Let’s party boy!
Embarrassing birthday for guys: Your friends hire a stripper, and it turns out to be your Aunt Marge, moonlighting for extra cash.
Just think. Pretty soon you’ll be able to use the bathroom in your diaper again. That was the good life. Happy Birthday! You’re one year closer.
How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
There are plenty of years that I can remember for those history classes in our schools. But, the bad news is I can’t remember your birth date as it wasn’t on our course. May be I’m late, but happy birthday.
When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
I wish today was not your birthday… because I forgot to get you a present. I’ll blow out your candles so my wish will come true.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
Better to be over the ground than under it. Happy Birthday!
Grow more older and become toothless soon.
Adding a candle on your cake today means your doctor will probably be adding another pill to your daily regimen of medicine.
No matter how old you become today, don’t let your special day to be spoiled by someone else than me.
I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
Just think, if we hatched out of eggs like birds instead of being born, we’d have to tell people “Happy Hatch Day!” instead of Happy Birthday.
Is it getting hotter in here, or is it just all the candles on your cake?
Birthdays are when you find out who your friends are. Good news: Everybody I talked to was willing to chip in on this card.
On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything.
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. Do you remember what that used to feel like?
God you are old. Oh well, Happy Birthday
With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Year = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthday = All Of The Above
Happy birthday dear. Another birthday means one step closer to the end of life.
You are how old? No, that doesn’t seem right…aren’t you older!
My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of… Lord- only- knows.
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Stop having so many birthdays! Seriously, each year it gets more difficult to find you a gift.
You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.
“Old is in the eye of the beholder.” That’s why it’s getting difficult to read.
Birthdays are God’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
I’m just here for the cake.
The more you are growing, the more mature you are becoming. Happy birthday to the most mature person I’ve ever meet.
Special people are rare … I am so lucky I met you! Happy Birthday from the bottom of my heart!
Napoleon must have been in command since you were separated from your mother.
